I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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