he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
