I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
