hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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