You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize