Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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