Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
