I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
