I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just invented taco cereal.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
