i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
