i think my tv is drunk
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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