I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
