So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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