I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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