Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
