just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
