But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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