Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
nutella sex= disaster
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
