dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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