You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize