Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
