i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
