I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
vagina is talking i cant
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize