I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
