I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What a dumb baby whore.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
