dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize