You're a womanizer and a bitch.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
