Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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