I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize