Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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