I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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