Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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