If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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