I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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