oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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