Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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