You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
