Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize