Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
