vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
