:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
