my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize