all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
