i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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