I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I AM VODKA MAN
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
