i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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