So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
