So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
they need to just BURY HIM!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
