Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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