are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
