I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
