I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
