i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
handjob tips. give me some.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize