It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
