talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
time to smoke my breakfast
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
