We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
