Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
