this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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