When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
