then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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