last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
