You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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