would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
