i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My vagina is officially offended.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
