You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
