Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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