Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
