I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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