just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We got so high we made milksteak
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize