Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
