you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My vagina is officially offended.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize