My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
