He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
