I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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