How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
